Three years ago today, Ricky Peden passed away. He was 37 years old, much too young to be moving on from this life. I was going to start this post by saying that three years ago my best friend died, but that’s too possessive. Ricky was everyone’s best friend. That’s what made Ricky who he was.
I remember the day Ricky had his stroke, a guy from Gulfport called me that I didn’t know to inform me of the stroke. He said his name was [you pick it b/c I can’t remember] and that he was “Ricky’s best friend.” By this time, I already knew Ricky was gravely ill and I was actually packing to head to the Coast, so some of the initial shock had worn off. My first thought was, “You’re his best friend? I don’t even know you.” But that thought was quickly overcome by the realization that this guy probably was Ricky’s “best” friend on some level. On some level, some fundamental level, we all were. So, whoever that guy is, I know what you were saying.
A couple of days later, Ricky’s sister Ashley gave me the great privilege of eulogizing Ricky. (A, I’ll always owe you one for that and you know I love you. [Insert fist to chest move here.]) I wrote Ricky’s eulogy in one draft with very little editing. As a lawyer, I write all the time, but this is one of the few times that everything just seemed to fall into place. The funeral is somewhat of a blur to me because of all of the emotions involved, but I will never forget that the only thing that kept me from breaking down was the thought of Ricky and me shooting pool. Can you believe that?
Literally, when it came time for me to talk, I don’t remember physically getting up, physically walking to the lectern, physically taking out my eulogy, or physically looking at the attendees. I knew that I had physically done those things because there I was; paper in hand, at a lectern, staring at a 1000 people staring at me. In that all too surreal moment, did I hear God whispering a calming word in my ear? Did I notice a dove light on one of the church windows? Did a strange but comforting breeze come from nowhere, rustle my hair, and bring me back to the world of the present? Did a ray of sunlight shine through the clouds that covered the sky that day?
Hell no. Clear as a freakin’ bell, I heard Ricky’s voice say in his best Tone Loc impersonation, “Let’s do it.” And then it all became very clear and calm. I made it through that eulogy without breaking down. Ricky and I shot about 2 games of pool shy of infinity. We had 2 mantras when we knew that we were about to win the game: “Let’s do it” and “Rack ’em.” The latter we saved for when we wanted to piss off the opponents or just generally be assholes (but in a good way), but “Let’s do it” was reserved for the closest of games, the ones that had been tough and it was time to truly concentrate. Corny? Maybe, but true.
So, I started out talking dramatically about my friend — our friend — and I ended up on a lighter note about pool. Well, that’s what life was like with Ricky. It was a range. He and I shared some very deep thoughts about God, people, and life. We also tried to turn a shower room in a college dorm into a hot tub with a case of beer and a door we’d taken off the hinges. My friendship with Ricky was symbolic of life itself — good times, serious times, bad times, funny times…..and often, just times. Just hanging out.
We all miss the hell out of you, Ricky. (Which is probably why you’re in Heaven, you kleptomaniac, drunk, trash-talking, sulking, never on time pain in the ass.) I don’t have a 40 oz. to pour on a wall for you like the gangstas. I’m a father of two little girls, so instead I’m about to pour 2 Yoo-Hoos on the side of my house. My neighbors will pass by and say, “Jeez, he’s up to more weird shit.”
It was good to know Ricky! Peace out…
I had the pleasure of knowing Ricky through my jobs w/Bruno & Koner who were good friends of his. Miss your southern accent sweet man.
Very well put B. I cant remember how many times I was introduced to a guy by Ricky as “this is my best friend” from Jackson, college, or wherever. I deeply miss our best friend, but I also miss seeing all of you, the cast of characters, that he brought together.
I’ve been lobbying the state legislature to allow Coast residents the ability to travel north of I-10, but it keeps getting blocked in committee.
Actually, I think they can come north of I-10 on special occasions like hurricane evacuations, weddings, funerals… I don’t think any of those applied to Ned however…he must have been on house arrest.
I always thought Ricky and I were best friends. I remember him always introducing me as his “best friend” to our pool opponents at TO’s…usually after midnight. Now I feel used!!! I was just another notch in his belt.
B-
I remember that eulogy. Remember thinking “Thank God it is Brian doing it.” and then my eyes darting from your face to Ricky’s Olan Mills’ style photo to keep from crying. Glad to know that Tone Loc figured so nicely into the funeral for he figured into so many other things from our silly lives. Yoo-hoo….a perfect choice of beverage.
Love you. And Ricky.
J
Thanks J. And thanks for coming into the aisle as I lost it walking out the door. My children woke up yesterday asking where all the damn yoo-hoos went. Ok, they didn’t say “damn,” but cussing is funny.
I remember the eulogy you gave like it was yesterday. And like Mattina, keeping focused on the Olan Mills photo was keeping us together. Even Lauren, who you probably don’t know, had an issue with her dress coming untied at the waist and nearly flashing the entire left side of the church. Ricky would’ve been proud.
Yoo-hoo,
C
Well, sentiment aside, there was a girl there whose dress was on the border of coming completely undone? Why don’t I know about these things at the time? Damn.
The “Olan Mills” photo was actually Ricky making fun of me at my wedding, and taken by C-Ray. I posted a lengthy comment on the other thread.
My moment at Ricky’s funeral also involved that photo. I am not Catholic, nor have I ever been invited to attend Catholic Church services, probably because I am such a heathen. Or just too Methodist. That being said, I responded to the call for communion. So I am standing in line with everyone, looking at that photo and laughing inside about my wedding, not realizing that I did not know the secret handshake for Catholic communion. So the bishop guy holds out the wafer and I reach to grab it, but he pulls it away. We look at each other, me obviously stunned, and he says, “do you take communion” and I said yes, the first Sunday of every month. He said, “are you catholic?” to which I say, No. He says “I’m sorry, you can’t take communion here. I will say a blessing for you. I thought gee thanks, man. Just then I looked over at that photo and that cheezy grin, and thought “OK, Peden, you get the last laugh.”
Of course, my wife was standing in line behind me, not paying attention, and also got “outed” as a non-catholic, so he got the last laugh on her, too!
Damn, I miss that guy.
Love ya Ricky!
Sully, I do have several copies of that shot of Ricky. I will put getting you one on the simi-short list.
Concerning communion, I’m not Catholic either but I did stand in that line not really knowing what the rules were. When Father Louie blessed me, I could only respond with a nod and watery eyes and not the customary “and also with you”. What I remember about that whole thing is when it was over and Father Louie began to speak, he made a commit about how he saw how much Ricky must have been loved because he saw everyone in the church was fighting back the tears. My point is that we all go to wakes out of respect for those who have passed on and for those who were left behind but what was happening that day was a little different. That church was filled with people that really loved Ricky and Father Louie’s commit hit home to me how purposeful his life really was. It was just proof to me of how many people’s lives that Ricky touched with his friendship.
Damn, I miss that guy too! I hope I get to see him again one day, that is if he doesn’t get everyone kicked out before I get there.
I don’t recall much about that day. It is such a blur. I do remember the euology just like it was yesterday and yet I still can’t put my head around how B did it.
I do recall looking at the picture of Ricky and remembering that it was from Sully’s wedding. At that point, I may have laughed out loud!! I just wished Ricky could have been there to make fun of Russ and his attempt to cater the party… How much clam juice does it take to make Etouffee??
We had communion? I was zoned out — and I didn’t even take any drugs. I do remember that picture though. I remember thinking, “Damn, I bet Ricky hates us right now. Haha. We finally got you back.”
I apologize for this very late question but is this post concerning the Ricky Peden that in 1986 had long hair, could water ski like a fool and went to Miss College?
Indeed it is.