At one time or another, we’ve all either called someone a “complete idiot” or been called one. Well, Herman Grange of Isola, Mississippi wants you to know he’s not a complete idiot.
“I can name the original cast members of Green Acres in less than 5 seconds,” Mr. Grange says with a chuckle and not a little pride. “So, I guess I ain’t a complete idiot. Maybe an incomplete one.”
On Monday, shortly after Mr. Grange filed his qualifying papers to run in the special election for mayor, we sat down with the candidate. Below are excerpts from the interview.
“Have you ever held political office before?”
“No, sir. I am what they call an unknown.” He uses air quotes for the word “unknown.”
“What are some of the things you’re doing to gain name recognition?”
“Well, one thing is I submitted my name to the sex offender registry.”
“Have you committed a sex crime? Do you think you stand a chance of winning with a criminal background?”
“Aw naw. I’ve never been convicted of anything. I just did it to get my name out there. Once I’m on the registry, they’ll have to put those yard signs up in everyone’s yard and people will see my name.”
“Mr. Grange, they don’t put “sex offender” signs up in everyone’s yard. Just yours.”
“Oh. Well, that ain’t going to work at all.”
“No. People will just think you’re a child molester.”
“Huh. This politickin’ is harder than I thought.”
Asked about Mr. Grange’s candidacy, Interim Mayor Hezekiah Williams said, “Frankly, I didn’t know we had mayoral elections. This town is so small, I thought we just took turns. But, I reckon, he’ll be as good as anyone else.”
The Daily Wit 