Top 5 Worst Big-Name Actors
Posted by supercynic on June 11, 2008
Yack gave me this idea, and I think it’s a good one. Being the modern, open-minded man that I am, I believe that the word “actors” includes women as well, so there is a woman who makes the list. So, here we go.
5. Andie MacDowell: Obviously, I’ve taken looks out of the equation. Let’s face it, there were parts of Four Weddings and a Funeral where she was almost painful to watch.
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger/Jesse Ventura/The Rock: I think these are all the same guy.
3. Brad Pitt: Yes, he’s a pretty man, but see Andie MacDowell above. I wonder if Anthony Hopkins and Aidan Quinn threw up on the set everyday during the making of Legends of the Fall.
2. Kevin Costner: Please, oh please, stop doing movies that require an accent. He didn’t even try one in Robin Hood: Prince of Bad Accents and I’m sure the English are happy he didn’t. He can’t come close to a Southern accent yet he’s done 2 movies set in the South: JFK and some big steaming piece of crap the name of which I can even remember where he plays po’ white trash in Mississippi but attempts to sound like Rhett Butler.
1. Keanu Reeves: Just stop. You’ve made plenty of money. Retire. Call it a day.
Mental Mist said
ROTFLLLLLL Keanu Reeves ROTFLLLLLLL :D :D … I have some more names to add
Stevel Seagal – Apart from the One expression, he is not even PRETTY to look at. Just WHO decided to run movies with him?
Vin Diesel – Mr. Potato Head. Forget movies, Im not too sure WHY he IS :(
yack said
I don’t know his name but he used to play Roman/John Black on Days of our lives in the 80’s when I watched……yes I watched it! “Roman are you gonna answer the phone?” “Maybe…just maybe, but it looks like trouble Doc.”
Matthew McConaughey – He seems like the kind of guy you’d like to have a beer with but acting ain’t his thing. He’s the same character in every movie. I’m ashamed to say I watched the movie with him and Kate Hudson and now I see previews for another movie with these two. I guess next they’ll have Jaws IV…The revenge of sharktooth.
Elvis – I’m a huge Elvis fan and the guy was an awesome singer/performer, but his acting skills were limited. I know Eddie Murphy has laready pointed this fact out in his standup routine.
Skreech on saved by the bell. Check that…everyone on Saved by the Bell. They must have been absent at acting school on”what to do with your hands” day.
Pamela Anderson – Not that I care she couldn’t act. In fact, I would prefer she just stand there in a bikini and say nothing. Somehow when she starts talking all my fantasies disappear.
supercynic said
MM — kudos on Steven Seagal. He is a piece of work and I can’t believe I forgot to add him to the list. I guess I’ve mentally blocked out his bad acting for so long that he just didn’t register in my consciousness.
Yack — John Black (Drake Hogestyn) is in the Hall of Fame of bad acting. Nothing could happen on Days of Our Lives without his lifting that one eyebrow as if something were awry. He is/was the most paranoid character in all of television.
Saved by the Bell had to be a reality show in which they forgot the part about kicking people off. That was just one big collection of losers. Granted, Elizabeth Berkley did go on to star in the blockbuster, all-time classic, right up there with Citizen Kane, movie Showgirls, but other than that, they had to create a D list to categorize those celebrities.
Jessica said
You forgot about the Baldwin boys. They all suck! Quite creepy as well.
I was going to make fun of Yack for watching Days of Our Lives but B, you also watched it?
supercynic said
C’mon now. Alec Baldwin is a great actor. I love it when he’s on SNL. The others — and that’s their names b/c they’re so bad, “the others” — I agree with you on.
During law school, while my classmates were learning how to practice law, I was watching Black raise his eyebrow at every movement, sound, sentence, revelation, creak in the floor, etc. I had to quit when his girlfriend/wife got demon possessed, floated in the air, and you could see the wire holding her up.
Russ said
Matthew McConaughey??? I wouldn’t want to have a beer with a guy that jogs through Beverly Hills everyday without a “T” shirt trying to get the paparazzi to take “candid Matthew shots” with his “everyone look at me…look how ripped I am” attitude. So far all I’ve seen him do is sappy chick-flick crap. I rank him right up there with the cast of Friends as far as acting ability.
Steven Seagal, that guy needs a running coach. If he was running up to me, pissed, waving those hands side to side, I’d be laughing….. even if he was kicking my ass.
Marshall said
Ok, you gotta add the following. I could go on all day with these.
Charles Bronson–my God he just blows. His Death Wish series, Chato’s Land, I could go on and on.
Chuck Norris–I have dubed him the most successful worst actor. Walker Texas Ranger had at least 8 or 9 seasons…must have been the WWE crowd keeping the ratings up for him then.
Steven Seagal–He just cranks out 2-3 movies a year straight to DVD. The asian lands love his movies.
Mario Van Peebles–horrid “action” star.
John Saxon–just a slimy 70’s actor.
Joe Don Baker–why? Watch the movie “Mitchell” destroyed by the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew and you understand.
supercynic said
Marshall, good analysis on Chuck Norris. He recently debated Ariana Huffington on Larry King’s show. It got so ugly I started feeling sorry for him.
Joe Don Baker’s only redemption is that he was in Fletch.