Learning From Children

Someone said children are angels and they’re so truthful. That person — if (s)he existed at all — was full of crap. Children are not angels and they’re no more truthful than what suits their purposes at a given moment. In other words, they’re human.

But they are pure humans in the sense that they are free from prejudices, they are free from categorical hate, and they have a great capacity to love unconditionally. They are what we “mature” adults could have been if we hadn’t become corrupted along the way to our various levels of erudition and awareness of the world around us.

I spend lots and lots of time playing with my children. Lots of that time is spent merely watching them play and interact. Sure, there are instances of selfishness, poutiness, and arguing, but if you watch long enough and closely enough, you’ll see that, for the most part, children are giving, considerate, and sensitive to their playmates. They don’t tend to think in terms of “us” vs. “them” as we adults do.

This past weekend my oldest daughter was playing with her best friend. Another girl, who is known for being unruly and pushy, was whining that no one would play with her. My daughter stopped playing with her best friend and played instead with the bratty child. She showed sensitivity and selflessness. She had compassion. This isn’t to say that I have an exceptional child; it’s to say that we can learn a lot from our kids. Being child-like doesn’t mean being childish.

Perhaps one way of looking at the story of the Garden of Eden is that it is a story of growing up. We were once innocent, free of hate, free of fear. Just free. And then we became “aware.” The aware Adam and Eve became fearful. They ultimately were expelled from paradise. They lost it all.

I understand that concepts of love, acceptance, and tolerance don’t pay the mortgage. I’m not advocating a big group hug (just small ones). But if we employed these concepts more, the mundaneness of life would be more tolerable and less painful. Interpersonal relationships certainly would be, and perhaps we could then expand it from there. The world is what we make it. It will be what we allow it to become. We can allow it to become more child-like if we “adults” would stop acting so childish.

My daughter doesn’t see people in terms of color, religion, nationality, or sexual orientation. She just sees people as they are. Without even knowing it, she gives people the benefit of the doubt. All come to her on equal footing. And I pray every day that I don’t screw that up for her.